Usable

As she awoke loosely by his side, the smell of last night’s booze on his breath made her reach.

The brazen morning light intruded rudely through the blinds, unwelcome and the first trains of the day could be heard from Southern Cross Station. The seventh floor studio apartment was sickly warm and stagnant and seemed to warp slightly at the edges as she gazed vacantly around the room. She quickly exhaled, thrust her tongue to the back of her mouth and shut her eyes tightly to steady herself and refrain from vomiting.

“He really was beautiful.” She thought to herself a little later as she carefully got out of bed for a glass of water, determined not to wake him.
His smooth brown skin and curly golden hair held a certain innocence. Something vulnerable. Something that needed to be protected no matter what. And with that thought she wondered if there was anything he could do that she would not forgive?


She wanted to believe that he wanted her back.
She was thinner now, happier, more playful. She was sure she was less demanding and less needy. She was almost like the girl he had met all that time ago.
She tried to comfort herself, by affirming that the previous night had felt they did in the old days. He had he smiled the same. Held her the same. And after all, it was he that encouraged her not to travel all the way home so late at night.
“Just relax.” He had said when they got home from the gig. “Go have a shower and I’ll make you something to eat.”

She made it seem like she did not wish to stay and ‘grudgingly’ took a shower. But he knew how she felt and he knew she would stay.
Surely he had felt something for her?

But there were small dark holes missing in the lovely cardigan of a notion she was wrapping herself in. It was warm, but it let the air in at parts around the frayed dangerous holes.
With the chilling discovery looming, she briskly tip toed back to bed, her feet making little padding sounds of the floor as she walked, and nuzzled into him. He instinctively wrapped his arm around her, accompanied by a small affectionate sound. Very similar to that of which he would have made all that time ago when they were together.

Three days later, the cardigan fell apart.
It was not returnable. She did not keep the recept.